Pain Pain Pain...

This month, or the weeks that I am going through is so hard...
I just dun understand why God is putting me thru all these pain?
To mould me to grow???

1. Family
My parents are driving me nuts...
My mom is insecure and is jealous that I'm spending too much time at my god-mother house, when I wasn't. Scare that I would give the family heirloom (as if there is any) to my God-mother...
I caught my dad watching pornographic VCDs one day when I came back home from work. It's not the first time. And I'm sick of scolding him...
Besides that, they have no faith in me....
I feel very alone. I feel very sick.
A home is no longer a home...

2. Friends
I'm losing myself.
I'm losing my frens.
It's a transition, I know...
From the days, we used to stick like glue.
And call each other up and hangout...
Those days are gone...

3. Church
I'm not complaining...
But lately, everyone's down
Everyone's unappreciative over one another...
I understress everyone's stressed over their work...
But haizz... basic courtesy and respect...
Do things for pple also so hard to coordinate...
I hate this feeling...
Not being concerned still nvm, still got this kind of shitty attitude.
I do understand that the devil is breaking us apart...
But I need encouragement and appreciation too.

All I can say is...
I feel hurt and am so pissed off now...
Again and again.. How do i actually stay motivated?
1 Cor 15:58 - Easier said than done.
Father Lord, I really give up on life.
I just dun wanna think of anything anymore...